Time For A Change

"It's because you're not having sex," said my Sister as I was venting to her about how I'm in the worst shape of my life. "You don't have to worry about what you look like when you're not having sex." I guess she has a point. Whereas most people get comfortable and let themselves go, I've been in the best shape of my life when I'm in a relationship. Maybe it is the sex thing. Maybe, I feel like I have to compete with other women. Maybe being in a relationship gives me a structure and a routine that allows me to workout and eat right regularly. And now that I'm single than I had ever been (in my case, this means there isn't even a prospect or desire to be in a relationship), I've let myself get comfortable. I've let myself go.



My Mom saw this picture and said, "Who's that?" Ouch.

 Don't get me wrong. I'm not in horrible shape. If you look at me, you wouldn't think that I was 10 lbs heavier than I was a year ago. My hips are a little curvier but my legs and calves are still tight. My stomach is flat...when I wake up in the morning. And my arms are quite lean. You're probably wondering, "Then what's the problem." Well, I haven't ran my regular three miles since June. I haven't been to the yoga studio in awhile. There's a rock at my gym that I haven't even touched. I'd rather go on the elliptical to watch TV than to take a cardio class or circuit train. And I just don't feel strong and active as I usually do.

Not only do I feel blah physically but my entire body (organs included) is in need of some major TLC. I've picked up some bad habits this year (like drinking beer) and my body isn't liking it. You can see it on my face. I feel like an adolescent teenager going through puberty. I shouldn't have to wear more make-up to cover up breakouts. As a woman, I want to feel confident on the outside as I do on the inside. And more make-up does not make me feel confident.

I've tried creams, cleansers and whatever else to conclude that I must change from the inside out. And I'm beginning with undergoing a full body cleanse and detox (starting Sunday, after my older Sister's birthday). The goal is to reset my entire body. Then to create a health and fitness structure that works for the older me (mayeb I'll try that 17 weeks things). And what is my motivation? Well, that's a secret.

"I workout to eat whatever I want." Are you kidding me?

I must say the most annoying thing that anyone can say to me is, "I work out so I can eat whatever I want." My sister has started working out. She says to me, "I use to work out." Well, sista..."use to" don't matta! If you use to work out three years ago and just started working out again, it's like starting aaaaaaaaaalll over. This is why it's sooooo annoying to me when people say that they work out in order to eat whatever they want. I use to think that it didn't matter what your motivation was to work out but I must say that THAT is the wrong mentality to have.

When someone says that to me, I can predict how they're fitness experience will be and how long it will last. You got'ta shift your mentality and work out for a greater purpose...like maybe - just maybe - your health? or your vitality? or maybe your well-being? Your fitness is a lifetime commitment. When you say, "I work out so I can eat whatever I want," you're really trying to avoid lifetime commitment to fitness. Cause the moment you eat whatever you want, you'll wonder "Why am I not losing any weight?" Then you'll resent working out and go back to where you started...which was NOWHERE!

When you commit your life to fitness and you make working out a practice, you will want to be careful and conscious about what you put into your body. Those endorphins you release will allow you to like yourself more and you wouldn't want to do anything to harm your body. When it comes down to it, it's just you and your body.

LOVE YOUR BODY!

The Runners' Booty

This morning I put on a pair of trousers that I've had for several years - these trousers has felt the size of my booty fluctuate. I slipped them on and realized that my runners' booty is back.

I had a hard time dealing with this last year as I was training for my first half-marathon. I was drinking gallons of water, eating well and I even gave up alcohol yet I was still gaining weight - especially in a particular area. My booty was abnormal - it was HUGE! My friends noticed my butt get bigger. They liked it while I became self-conscious. I didn't know what was going on. I started asking questions. I even Googled it and came across this blog post "Running into a great butt" by a runner named Lance - it made me re-think my insecurity.

I've always had a butt even at my smallest size but I had never thought about it beings an asset - I was too worried about doing chest presses for them to look bigger. While I was too busy focused on my upper body, my lower body was doing its own thing - my butt was building muscle, my thighs were getting strong and my calves were more beautiful than they'd ever been. I wondered why those petite Asian girls didn't have my problem. I would fish for compliments by making negative comments about my butt. I kept telling myself that guys liked it to make myself feel better - it would work for a minute but didn't make a difference.

Finally, I decided to end the suffering and learned to love it. I loved how running made me feel - I might as well love the strong, beautiful and sexy body it gave me. I learned to love my entire body from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. One night, I put on a dress that nicely hugged my body. I stood in front of a full length mirror, turned around and said to myself, "Heeaaay booo..." ;)