This Saturday, I will be running in my first 5K race. I've ran many 5Ks during my half-marathon training but I have never raced in one. This is going to be interesting considering that I have never competed with an intention of winning - I've always played games for the sake of playing a game and I think I know where it started.
Growing up, my sisters and I were in ASB and all of the after school clubs. Because we didn't have insurance, we didn't play sports. The one year that I had insurance, I decided that I would play a sport. It was my senior year of high school and one of my best friends begged me to join the swim team with her. I took lessons as a little girl but was never a strong swimmer but somehow, she was able to convince me to jump into a tight green and yellow swimsuit that cut of my circulation. I was on the Henry Foss Swim Team. (Please note that I almost died drowning as a little girl.)
It was our first meet. I'm freaking out because I'm still not sure if I'm swimming right. I still can't swim straight and I'm still afraid of deep water. But like always, I do it anyway. The gun goes off and I jump in head first. As I'm struggling to stay within the lines, I finally reach the other side. Instead of turning around, I attempt to do a flip turn. I failed, horribly. That was my first and last swim meet.
Since then, I've never played to win. I've always been active and athletic yet I've tried to stayed away from competition. When I did compete, it was always a joke or for fun. This is interesting because innately, I am very competitive - sometimes more competitive than most people think. I'm so competitive that I'd rather not play if I know it's a game that I can't win. This is true in other areas of my life.
A friend of mine said to me in a long conversation that competition can be good. I'd agree - I've gotten to where I am today mostly as a result of my competitive nature. As I got older, I tried to suppress my competitive energy. Now that I coming into my own, I'm ready to bring it.
Wish me luck!
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